DiCaprio Could Play Villain in Tarantino’s ‘Django Unchained’

From A.V. Club:

by Sean O’Neal June 8, 2011 

Like Martin Scorsese and many thirtysomething women, Quentin Tarantino has a thing for Leonardo DiCaprio, a torch he’s carried since attempting to scuff up the actor’s likable rogue image by giving him the Hans Landa role in Inglourious Basterds (which eventually went to Christoph Waltz). But Tarantino may soon get his wish to work with DiCaprio on Django Unchained, as the two are once again in talks about his playing a villainous role, that of Calvin Candie, the “charming but ruthless proprietor of Candyland, a despicable club in Mississippi where female slaves are exploited as sex objects and males are pitted against each other in ‘mandingo’ style death matches.” Terrible things happen in the shadow of the Gumdrop Mountains.

If he takes the part—and so far he’s just in early talks—DiCaprio would face off against the freed slave Django, who’s working his bloody way to Candie in order to rescue his wife with the help of a German dentist-turned-bounty hunter, most likely played by Christoph Waltz, just to bring things full circle. And while previous reports suggested that Will Smith was in the lead to take on the role of Django, Deadline now believes that’s a “long shot,” which should certainly help the film save on its trailer budget. Other contenders reportedly include Idris Elba, Jamie Foxx, and even Chris Tucker, whose small part in Jackie Brown proved that he was capable of doing things other than shrieking at Jackie Chan. Anyway, all of this is still very tentative, and so far only Waltz and Samuel L. Jackson seem like locks, the latter as Candie’s valet who “keeps the slaves in line.” Yes, this could end up being a film where Leonardo DiCaprio bosses around Samuel L. Jackson and squares off against Chris Tucker. And somehow it will still be pretty good.

Oh snap.

See, rumors like this, I just eat up.

I’m an above-average Tarantino fan. I have nothing but love in my heart for Inglourious Basterds and Pulp Fiction. I thought the Kill Bill films could have been edited down into one 2.5 hour movie, instead of two movies with 4 drawn-out, overstuffed hours of total content. But so far everything I’ve heard about Django Unchained—Tarantino’s next project—is downright mouthwatering.

From the shortlist of actors who are in talks to play the lead of Django, Idris Elba jumps out at me. Dude is a bonafide B.A. He’s most known for playing Stringer Bell in the gritty HBO series The Wire, which is reason enough for me to treat the guy like a minor deity. If Tarantino’s a casual fan, or has so much as even sniffed The Wire, Elba has to be the frontrunner for Django. He should also play The Bride in Kill Bill Vol. 3 if Uma Thurman isn’t available.

The best 60 hours you can possibly waste.


Jurassic Parker Bros.

Here’s the latest SpitchTown Original. If you read the SpitchTown State of the Union Address yesterday, you know it’s the last one for the summer. Frowny emoticon.

Jurassic Parker Bros. will only make sense if you’ve seen Jurassic Park in the last 8 hours. I wrote it and even I barely understand it. Clutch acting job from Coke Money yet again. Kid’s gonna run out of room in his cabinets for all the Oscars. And props to Richard Attenborough for reprising his role of John Hammond. He flew half way around the world in a moment’s notice to shoot his phone conversation shot. Stand-up guy, that Richard. And here I thought he was dead.


Cults - Oh My God (720p HD is available)

Good luck not instantly falling in love with this girl. I don’t even care if you yourself happen to be a girl, just good luck. Her name is Madeline Follin and she’s the lead singer of the indie-pop band Cults. Their self-titled debut drops tomorrow.

Cults is notable for the fact that they got signed to a major record label… off the success of a single track (the catchy as f*ck, "Go Outside").Think about that for a second. You and I are apparently one song away from being signed to Columbia and getting a pile of money to make a full-length album. Just astounding.

Sure she sounds like a 3-year-old, but who doesn’t these days? You should’ve heard me in KB Toys the other day when my mom refused to buy me a Spider-Man themed battery powered rc car and I threw a temper tantrum. No less than 4 patrons mistook me for the lead singer of Cults.

Apparently, I’m neck-deep in this phase where I enjoy listening to bands with abnormal-sounding female lead singers. Take Beach House, for instance. The lead singer of Beach House sounds like a 40-year-old dude who lives in the woods even though it’s like a 27-year-old girl who probably lives in a house. And I love them.

Cults has been looping nonstop on my iPod ever since it leaked a few weeks back. So far it’s my summer’s soundtrack. Every track is single-worthy. I go friggin’ bonkers for whistleable melodies, which explains my undying love for Rihanna.

Speaking of summer soundtracks, my 2010 summer’s soundtrack (Kanye West and Big Boi) would absolutely destroy this summer’s soundtrack (Beach House and Cults) in a physical brawl should they ever meet. I’m scared for my 2011 summer’s soundtrack’s life to be real honest with you.


SpitchTown State of the Union

Too bad summer has to exist because it causes a huge fissure in the tripod of high command seeing as Joshua, Peter and I live in three really disparate parts of the country. Now that we’re separated by thousands of miles, I constantly worry about one or more of us dying somehow, in keeping the fate of SpitchTown ever in the forefront of my mind. I check up on my other two co-writers every hour on the hour to make sure their blood sugar levels are still normal.

Two weeks ago, the three of us went to the Landmark in LA to see the premiere of The Tree of Life. All I did was fuss about the possibility of getting into a car accident and how we should split up into three separate vehicles. Literally, that’s all I talked about, to and from the theater. Terrance Malick’s gorgeous cinematography was the very least of my concerns.

Yeah, we get it. You know how to use a camera.

It’s kind of like how the Vice President can’t be on Air Force One at the same time as the President because if it goes down, who the heck is the president, you know? If all three of us were incapacitated I shudder to think what would happen to SpitchTown. Robyn would probably take it over and prattle on about vicious volleyball serves all day or something. We can’t have any of that.

But physical division of power is needed, I guess. I mean, somebody’s gotta keep the East Coast in check, in Peter’s case, while Joshua keeps an eye on the Rocky Mountains and I let tumbleweeds know who’s boss.

This is how I get from Point A to Point B. Don’t judge me, bicycles are too friggin’ expensive. $99 Target? Are you kidding me?

What sucks most about being separated is that we won’t be producing any SpitchTown Originals until we get back to school in August. So until then, the three of us are just gonna try really hard to make this tumblr as good as it can possibly be. Personally, I’ll do my best to post at least once a day, be it a music post, movie review, prejudice anecdote or newly classified animal update (have you guys caught the scoop about the varanus bitatawa????). So hopefully, SpitchTown will entertain all 6 of you reading this for the summer. Three months is a long time.

Good news though, is that we have one more SpitchTown Original coming out tomorrow. We filmed it a week before school ended. It’s called “Jurassic Parker Bros.” and it’s mostly a social critique on the Paralkot Rebellion of 1825 when tribes revolted against British rule’s shortsighted and economically irresponsible caste system. Hope you guys enjoy it because it’ll be the last ST produced video we release for a while.

By the way, please please please “like” SpitchTown on our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/SpitchTown/157753950957747, even if you don’t actually like us personally. We need all the “likes” we can muster because instead of oxygen, Joshua Peter and I are sustained by affirmation to keep this blog up to date. Also, we want our own Facebook url (you need 25 likes apparently. As of now we have like 2. HELP!)



Guess it’s F’d-Up Music Video Week ‘11 here at SpitchTown. Kanye West dropped the official version of his “Monster,” video today, so soon after Tyler the Creator’s, “She.” (posted below)

As you can see from the video, “Monster,” sports some adult-centric points of discussion you might want to bring to your parents immediately, (i.e. misogyny, necrophilia, Rick Ross, sadomasochism).That Kanye fellow sure has some weird fetishes. Alas, so is the price of super-stardom. One minute you’re on top of the world cause your wallet has infinite coin. Next thing you know, your sensation receptors are so overloaded that the only thing that’ll get you off is a ménage à trois with Minaj and a cadaver.

I still love My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, though. I gladly throw it in my top 5 albums of last year along with Deerhunter’s Halcyon Digest, Beach House’s Teen Dream, Tokyo Police Club’s Champ and Sleigh Bells’ Treats in some order. But dang, it’s friggin’ dark. Here’s to hoping Yeezy’s next album is a little more College Dropout-y and a little less satanic-y.

And if you haven’t seen Kanye’s 30 minute mini-film Runaway which coincides with MBDTF, do yourself a favor and watch it. It’s more for them “I Like Art,”-type girls.


OneRepublic - Good Life Remix (feat. B.o.B.)
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Good Life (feat. B.o.B.) - OneRepublic

So this sick remix of “Good Life” by OneRepublic hit the internet about a week ago and I gotta say, I am absolutely loving it. The original of this song was good enough, but when you get B.o.B. in the mix it’s, to quote my co-writer Sully, “freaking almond honey to my ears.” This song really typifies what summer is all about. No it’s not about living the good life, what part of the song didn’t you understand? It’s about understanding the delicate balance between nature and industrialization, and not letting ourselves get swept away in the post keynesian economic thought processes that run so rampant in our culture today. Am I reading too much into this? Good, now SpitchTown sounds like every other indie music blog on the internet. Just enjoy the fricken music, here’s the download.




Finally. The SHE Video By Tyler Creator And Frank Ocean From Tylers GOBLIN Album. Directed By Wolf Haley. OF Cameos Threw Out The Whole Thing.

Here’s Tyler the Creator’s follow up to “Yonkers,” the disturbing single SpitchTown publicized earlier this year. It’s called, “She,” featuring Frank Ocean and it’s pretty rapey. Minus the outrageously dark subject matter, everything about this video is perfect, sock-Adidas flip flop combo and all. I had to triple take to make sure Tyler actually directed this video. I want the cinematographer to work for SpitchTown.

As compelling a figure as Tyler is, funny thing about him is that his music is almost unlistenable. He’s witty and hilarious out of the studio, no doubt. Those golf wang skits were gold. Minus a couple songs, “Yonkers,” and “She,” among them, Goblin is trying way too hard to be foul. It’s just over the top and boring. OF members Earl, Hodgy Beats and Frank Ocean are just better artists overall.

Goblin isn’t music you bump on a road trip. It’s music little Johnny and Stacy download without their moms’ knowledge and brag about it at school the next day, corrupting their little peers. Then when the teacher asks them what exactly little Johnny was gonna do to Stacey with a bit of mustard, they just scream “SWAG ME OUT,” over and over, and shoot up the school.

Most people are too scared to badmouth Odd Future because they’re afraid Tyler will show up at their window in minutes wearing that green mask. Which is ridiculous because Tyler isn’t supernatural and can’t materialize outside someone’s window every time he’s spoken ill of.

That’s why he sends out his rabid sociopath fans to do his bidding. I know 8 things about life and 2 of them are this: 1) Everyone has to die sometime and 2) Most likely it’ll be at the hands of a deranged OF fan. Because frankly, I’m more scared of people who genuinely enjoy listening to Goblin than I am Tyler the Creator.

Seriously though, those golf wang skits are straight cash.

UPDATE: I just listened to Tyler’s first album Bastard and then Goblin back to back at the gym. I morphed into Beelzebub three quarters into skullcrushers, but that’s besides the point. No joke, Bastard is miles ahead of Goblin. Like, it’s not even close.

I wonder if Tyler cares what kids like me have to say about his music?

From Goblin’s “Yonkers:” ‘Oh, not again, another critic writing report/I’m stabbin’ any blogging f*ggot hipster with a Pitchfork.’

From Bastard's “Session:” 'I'm Tyler, Mr. Green Hat/Poor bullsh*t anti-clean rap/F*ck your blog opinion and your feedback.'



The Hangover….or was it The Hangover 2

I’m gonna warn you right now before you start reading this that this poorly written and grammatical error filled excuse for an article is absolutely riddled with spoilers for The Hangover 2. Wait, I take that back, I guess something can’t be a spoiler if everybody already knows it. And whether or not you’ve seen The Hangover 2, if you’ve seen The Hangover than you already know the entire story. Seriously, the plot is exactly the same, and amazingly, nothing original happens for the full 252 mins (that’s how long it is, I IMDB’d that ish so don’t second guess me).

Now, I’m a firm believer that humor can be broken down into a mathematical equation. If you don’t believe me, maybe you wanna double check with Bo Burnham, cuz his song “New Math” currently has 7,518,194 views on youtube (I didn’t look that one up, that was just a guess). Listen to the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obIGsb-IZMo . With that being said, I think The Hangover can be broken down into a formula to determine why it’s so funny, and this means that The Hangover 2 subsequently equals The Hangover. Aside for a couple of small variable changes, the two movies are worth the same value. As best as I can figure (and my math skills are on par with rain man your average retarded guy) here is the comedic equation for The Hangover=The Hangover 2

The Hangover=The Hangover 2 (+ Bangkok - Las Vegas + Mike Tyson Singing - Dan Finnerty Singing + Facial Tattoos - Missing Teeth + She Male Strippers - Regular Strippers + Monkey with Vest - Baby named Carlos)(Racism)(Increased Nudity)

That equation basically summarizes every difference between the two movies. Obviously there are very few, but in all honesty, I still liked The Hangover 2. Todd Phillips seems to really have captured the idea that “if it was funny once, why wouldn’t it be funny again?” He was right too, it was hilarious. It was undoubtedly raunchier than the first and arguably the least creative movie since 2 Fast 2 Furious (wait a minute, someone just informed me that they actually made 13 more identical Fast and Furious movies, so I guess The Hangover 2 is the least original film since Fast and Furious 15, whatever), but despite all this Zach Galifianakis was still hilarious, Bradley Cooper was still gorgeous, Ed Helms was still freakin out, and Justin Bartha was still……, well he was still in National Treasure, I’m not sure what he’s bringing to Wolf Pack, but oh well.


Eat Pray Finals

Latest Spitchtown Original written by Peter. Written in the sense that he was the one who decided to leave his webcam on for 168 hours and pull the best 2 minutes of whatever went on. Special thanks to Sara, Allie, Ellen—you guys are awesome individuals and Oscar-calibur actresses. And to Buster Keaton for inspiring us to channel our inner silent film personas. And to Julia Roberts for being in a bad movie we could lazily reference. And to Kevin who let us kill him and use his blood as a prop.

By the way, Allie and Peter are listening to “Walk in the Park" by Beach House in the opening scene. Quite possibly the catchiest hook ever recorded by humans.


Biola Housing Crisis

Here’s a short piece starring and produced by a combined 95% of SpitchTown’s editors and readership. Our budget was pretty tight ($5,500 if you’re wondering), so we had to cut a number of corners (4 if you’re wondering). 

Now, a lot of people seem to be confused about the goal of our video. We’ve gotten a ton of comments that fall into three distinct camps:

1. “Yeah, housing is such a homo!” 

2. “That Blue Valentine shot made my entire family cry, including my dog.”

3. “Hey guess what? You guys are kind of funny.”

Let me break it down for these people real quick:

"Yeah, housing is such a homo!"
For these comments, let me just say that “Biola Housing Crisis” has nothing, NOTHING, to do with the housing selection process at all. I thought the subtext was transparent, but apparently it was so transparent, it was invisible. The “housing debacle” referred to in the video is essentially a metaphor representing the unique mixture of elation, anxiety and at times confusion the Jews found themselves experiencing following the Allies overtaking the Axis of Evil in WWII.

The concentration camps of Auschwitz were liberated on January 25, 1945 and Jewish survivors were enthused to be released, though cautiously optimistic. This unease was due to the fact that they weren’t yet sure how many of their compatriots were left standing. Some families were miraculously reunited after all the dust settled, which is of course comparable to Peter and I discovering we were suitemates following the mad dash for rooms.

"That Blue Valentine shot made my entire family cry, including my dog.”
I, nor anybody involved in this video, have ever seen Blue Valentine. So any likeness between our film and that one is completely coincidental. Speaking of coincidences, we originally had Blue Valentine’s own Michelle Williams slated to play Max Hooper’s part (the computer hacker) but she ended up being too attached to prior obligations. Kind of sad because I personally thought she would have played a better Max Hooper than Max Hooper, but luckily only a few folks have complained about Max’s acting.

"Hey guess what? You guys are kind of funny."
This comment is the most puzzling to me. First of all, how am I supposed to have time to venture a guess when you  blurt out the answer all of a sudden? More importantly though, just what exactly about this video is so funny? How our dry and politically-minded clip could possibly conjure laughter is beyond me. Did people really misconstrue it that bad? Peter has this theory that it’s a shortcoming in acting and editing that causes people to think “Biola Housing Crisis” is a comedy. I’ll concede to agree with him. It’s embarrassing, but I’m man enough to admit that any humor evoked from the video is unintentional. Guess I’ll just chalk this up as a harsh lesson in filmmaking.